01Yummy_DOLLeyaTS è offline

I am a bright and loving person in my essential being, but like we all I also have a dark side.
I have experienced deep love and also cold betrayal,
I have learnt that some people can hurt you so deeply and not even worry about you.
None can take away your love, but some people are better to be loved from a distance.
I have laughed and smiled till my cheeks hurt and I have cried myself to sleep wishing I was dead.
I have learnt that every single person is fighting battles you know nothing about. You can't always understand others pain, but you can offer them your compassion and presence...
Life will test you and break you, it will spoil you and it will take away from you,
It is painful and devastating and unfair, but in the end it will make perfect sense,
I have learnt that the only thing that matters in life is people around you,
It doesn't matter how much   you make or how much you lose,
None of that can replace a beating heart.
I am kind and understanding to those who treat me with respect and empathy,
Im learning to be kind and understanding to those who wronged me.
I know that deep inside those people are hurting and love is the best gift I can offer to them. Only hurt people hurt people.
I have learnt that people can't give you what they don't have,
If they grew up having no healthy love, no nurturing then they can't give you that.
I am honest, naive and curious like a , I have always been like this, these qualities have led me to lots of pain in life.
Pain that has made me grow immensely mentally, spiritually, psychologically,
No matter how many times I fall and get burnt,
I still keep my heart open,
As terrifying as it feels Im standing in front of the abyss with risk to fall in it again.
I don't regret anything in my life though,
Every experience and person I have met has shaped me into a person I am today and has taught me,
That only healing myself and loving myself fully I can love and heal others.
I have learnt that my purpose in life is not external its inside of me, it is simply to be me.
I have always felt like I don™t fit in and I have learnt that its all good.
You dont have to be like all others to be worthy and amazing,
Life is worth living only if you can be true to yourself.
I had to experience horrible  of pain to understand that,
Life consists of levels,
Only experiencing new level of pain I can grow on a new level in life.
There has been so much heaviness on my shoulders all of these years,
Caring for other people I forgot the most important person in my life - ME.
Not understanding that putting all others before me,
I wont feel the love I have been seeking for.
So much fake crap, so many wounds covered my authentic self,
Feeling stuck and unhappy finally I received my push,
The Dark Night of The Soul.
This has been a journey so painful and dark, so very hard and devastating but the same time so enlightening and freeing...
Feeling hopeless and helpless, so heartbroken, seeing no way out and being ready to give up,
Because I saw no future for myself, just plain darkness,
This darkness has been the best teacher of my life,
If I thought that I am a loving, compassionate, sensitive, understanding and wise person,
then this darkness taught me that I am not enough of this, it tortured me, built me, shaped me, killed my old self and created a new me,
More loving, more compassionate, more understanding and more wise woman.
After many months of crawling out of the abyss and almost giving up,
Im still here, Im more open and loving than ever.
I trust life, I trust my journey, I am strong and amazing!!!
I want to live again and I know that my life will be full of wonderful surprises.
I love life, I love this world, I love myself and I love you!